Things I have never thought to worry about, but could if I find myself with some free time on my hands.

1. Earth passing through a field of alien ghosts.
2. A government plot to end all records and communication around time and temperature.
3. The possibility of long-lasting consciousness after death that stays in the body; for everyone.
4. There is in truth one pizza which will eventually be the last consumed by an Earthling. There is also a chance that this specific pizza will not be all that good.
5. Not being a close watcher of records and official correspondence, either the video rental store of my early adulthood or the Boston Public Library may find that I still have an item checked out, and over the course of my life time could amount to such an outstanding late charge that I could be liquidated of all wealth which as of this moment in time is not yet acquired, and in the eventual actualization of both future wealth and late discovered checked out items could potentially neutralize anything I do with my time and effort between now and such a point.
6. Everyone talks about dying alone, but dying with too many people nearby has been vastly neglected by human consideration.
7. Jesus exists. Someone somewhere believes in the letter-of-the-bumper-sticker law that they should let Jesus take the wheel. He does. He’s not knowledgeable about automobiles in any way, but is too ashamed to admit it, and also accidentally transforms his water bottle into a roady, crashes the car into a tree, killing the passenger—who should have been the one driving, having a wonderful driving record and all—all the while giving the macaws in the tree a terrible fright, from which it takes them several days to resume normal macaw activities.
8. There are a lot of monkeys in the world who have never worn jewelry.
9. In the way that paper occasionally gets jammed in the printer, there is the possibility, that one’s life could also come to a complete standstill while the gears in the machinery are tinkered with to solve the issue. Also, the paper that is in the jam is usually thrown away. So this doesn’t end well for anyone involved.
10. There is a commonly held belief that all time gets progressively better, leading—as we like our storybooks to do—towards a satisfying conclusion. There is a less common belief, though also quite popular—not as much as the positive evolution idea—that holds that good and ill ebb and flow without purpose; but rather endless possibilities. Both could be wrong and another possibility where everything good that happens is to eventually result in some greater terribleness.
11. The moon might have it out for me.
12. I’ve heard that people accidentally eat a small number of spiders every year in their sleep. I may have accidentally murdered Charlotte or someone dear to her.
13. Of all the infinite books ever written, No matter how Herculean my efforts become—and they are certainly not Herculean now—I will not even read one percent of them.
14. Buzzards may have dangerous bacteria in their talons.
15. The Bermuda Triangle might actually be a different polygon.
16. Sneezes could be how inter-dimensional travel happens.
17. It’s been a long time since anyone used their glove compartment to hold gloves. It’s impossible to tell if that’s bad luck.

{ Absurdism,  Fictitious fears }